Order Soon Van
Creativity starves insanity
Seems like the year 2000 has been the year of superlatives for Australia; The most comprehensive, spectacular and far-reaching New Year's Eve celebrations, ever; the most convoluted and idiotic tax system ever implemented; the best Olympic games ever held and the best Paralympic games ever staged.
Good thing I didn't volunteer then for the Paralympics. I would have been the saddest and most depressed guy around. More so.
On watching the Closing Ceremony of the Paralympics I tried to recall some of the highlights of the Olympic Closing Ceremony. None were found, I know I watched something that night. Could have been the nose bleed that put me off. Wicked Beat Sound System? What a misnomer that was. A very mellow and highly crappy performance.
When Juan-Antonio Samaranch declared the Olympic Games officially closed the crowding stands let out a deep wail of sorrow. But when Doctor Robert Steadward closed the Paralympics the crowd cheered a little. Not something I was expecting since Australia totally dominated that medal tally in the last days of competition.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 31 October 2000 - 06:52
This is what my cover letter for a new HTML job looked like:
That didn't stop them. What stopped them was the fact that they could not view my site with Navigator.
[To the tune of "Absolutely (story of a girl)" - Nine Days]Chorus
This is the story of a guy
Who cried a river because he wasn't a geek
And while he looks so sane in photographs
They absolutely freak
When he smilesHow many days in a year? 365.25
I woke up with a hangover but could found no beers
And I can be so soundly insane
Making the pixies run to the hills
As long as they stand there floating
Shootin' the fish with an AK-47
Can you really stand the pain?
You look in the mirror, so how do you comprehend?The clothes never change from day to day
And the hair never falls in quite a neat way
You'd never know what to sayChorus
How many physicians would stay?
Just to put up with this shit day after day
How could they possibly get away?
Watchin' their mouths for the words that they say
As long as they stand there twitchin'
Wearin' the gowns of the inpatients that they treat
Why do they stay there allday?
When walkin' too fast for their limp and shoesThe robes never quite close all the way
And the hair never fails to sway
You can never seem to run out of the wayChorus
This is the story of a guy
Whose pretty wracked with the world
And while he looks so clean in photographs
I absolutely fear himChorus
If he smiles
[--Fade out--]Soon.
I could of been a contender.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 31 October 2000 - 06:22
Finally, after two years, Mortal Kombat: Conquest was shown last night for the first time on Australian free-to-air screens. Kind of hokey, tongue-in-cheek and totally not what I expected for a conversion of one of the first of the bloodiest fighting games to warp the minds of minions. It had no regard whatsoever for the continuity of previous incarnations. Reminds me of Conan: The Adventurer.
Still, it was better than watching The Vanishing Man with that guy from Men Behaving Badly.
Soon Van - Saturday, 28 October 2000 - 09:59
School kids are lucky this year. Flooding the cars of the trains for the last few days have been students and teachers on thier way to see some quality sports.
I hope they get a memory burn from this. I can only recall two primary school excursions that have left a mark on my brain. One was to the zoo—wherein I was attacked by some of the fauna and smelt of sickly sweet honey—the other was to the Blue Mountains. I almost collapsed on that one. They thought it would be a good idea to have ten year old kids walk down a flight of something like a few thousand steps down the side of a mountain.
I like the dangerous aspect a school excursion has. That is why there is a permission slip. Ticket to Üter.
Soon Van - Friday, 27 October 2000 - 10:40
Cyborgs and motorways do not make up the races in the Paralympics. If the need to actually comprehend how the Paralympians in their eighth day have racked up more medals than the Aussie Olympians did in their total sixteen then a look at the classification information is in order.
Soon Van - Friday, 27 October 2000 - 08:26
Saw some documentary on Channel Ten Monday night. Featured in one of the stories were a couple of sick and deathly looking bears. They were dragged into a barren field, the stench of blood made them coil, dogs in the distance salivating at their presence. Tired and hungry the bears wanted to rest. No such luck. The dogs are let loose and a bloody massacre ensues. Just one of the viscious canines could of taken on the bear. Four were sent. To make it a "fairer" fight their Pakistani captors had removed all of their teeth and claws. One, defenseless and scared versus four, malicious and psychotic.
Another reason why I do not like the sub-continent.
Soon Van - Thursday, 26 October 2000 - 09:06
Live webcasting from WeMedia seems so much to bother with. Good thing then that the ABC will extend coverage for the remainder of the days, even though I can't get to a set in time for the 17:00 highlight and want to try and sleep at the 23:00 showing. I just hope my reception is up to it. Feels like I'm watching SBS at times.
Ticket sales to the Paralympics break one million mark today. From the highlights of Stadium Australia seems most are cramming in into the smaller, enclosed venues.
Waiting for the crush this weekend as people try and soak up the last air of elite athletic showing.
Soon Van - Wednesday, 25 October 2000 - 08:36
Knowing what a cheap bastard I can be I would have probably nearly killed myself today. Look at the schedule for today's games.
Start off with a few swimming races at the Aquatic Centre, run over to watch some wheelchair basketball at the Superdome for thirty, over to Boccia in Hall 1, Sitting Volleyball at Pavilion 3, a little Track and Field in Stadium Australia, Fencing in Pavilion 3, whispering at Goalball in Pavilion 2, Tennis at the NSW Tennis Centre, back to the Dome for Basketball for the intellectually disabled and finish the morning with some Standing Volleyball at Pavilion 4.
I'm not supposed to feel tired thinking about it.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 24 October 2000 - 10:51
It's been only the forth day of competition for the Paralympics and yet the Australian Team have already hit the number one spot in the medal tally with a haul of 17 gold, 11 silver and 15 bronze.
The Olympic team didn't even do it once for any of the sixteen days of their competition. If they can sustain this till October 29 then it will be a stunning conundrum as to why they don't get as much recognition or support but can deliver on the medal haul.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 24 October 2000 - 10:32
I awoke at 07:00 this morning to start my day out at the Paralympics. At 07:12 I decided that I should not go to Homebush for the following reasons:
Soon Van - Tuesday, 24 October 2000 - 04:44
There seems to be an inherent desire within myself to jeopardise the future that lays ahead. I had a SQL test a week back and had no idea what in the hell I was doing. And today, well today there was a quiz on all things relating to a database, I thought it was in two weeks. Obvoiusly not reading any pages in the memory.
Absolutely (story of a failure).
Soon Van - Saturday, 21 October 2000 - 09:37
I remember emailing the President some time ago, early last year. I've had no response since, even though I asked a question that would surely invoke a reply. It can't seriously have anything to do with the coastal barrier that seperates us.
Another Universe has been sending me catalogues quite frequently and I asked for one and only one in 1998.
Soon Van - Saturday, 21 October 2000 - 09:25
I may be Australian but have done as much as possible from the list of the email. Not all Japanese harp whales.
Stop It Now!
From: "IFAW.org"
To: "stop-whaling-now"
Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 11:28:56 -0500
Subject: Stop Whaling Now! - Urgent Campaign Update
Stop Whaling Now
URGENT CAMPAIGN UPDATE******please read and respond immediately******
Dear friend,
We have an unprecedented opportunity to stop Japanese whaling, but we MUST act within the next seven days.
PLEASE... take a moment RIGHT NOW to read this brief update and send two quick messages to US government officials. I know you receive many urgent messages, but this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Here's what's happening:
As you may know, many governments have already condemned Japan's so-called "scientific whaling" program. But now, instead of stopping this slaughter, Japan has expanded their hunt. Last month they killed forty endangered Bryde's whales and five endangered Sperm whales, and as I write they're getting ready to kill over FOUR HUNDRED Minke whales in the Southern Ocean Sanctuary.THAT'S RIGHT. JAPAN IS HUNTING IN AN INTERNATIONAL WHALE SANCTUARY.
But there is hope. We've had MAJOR breakthroughs recently:
* The International Whaling Commission has passed repeated resolutions calling on Japan to stop this hunt.* Fifteen nations, led by Ireland, have formally issued a diplomatic protest to the government of Japan.
* SEVENTY-FOUR Japanese organizations have united to oppose Japanese whaling practices and the IRUKA & KUJIRA (Dolphin & Whale) Action Network in Tokyo has even stated that Japan should be denied a permanent seat on the UN Security Council because of its expanding whaling operations.
* Public opinion polls in Japan now show little support for whaling, particularly if it damages Japan's image and economy overseas.
* And now the president is considering TRADE SANCTIONS against Japan.
THE WHALES' FATE IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE US CONGRESS.
Here's how you can help . . .
1) URGE PRESIDENT CLINTON TO IMPOSE TRADE SANCTIONS ON JAPAN.
(I'm told the administration is "counting votes" right now, so we need a FLOOD of messages, calls or letters today.)
You can address your message to president@whitehouse.gov or better yet, use the online feedback forms.
2) THEN, TELL YOUR REPRESENTATIVE TO HELP STOP WHALING NOW.
A new congressional resolution urges withholding US support for Japan's bid to win a seat on the United Nations Security Council until Japan ends its abuse of the scientific whaling exemption under International Whaling Commission rules.
This common-sense resolution, introduced by representative Bill Delahunt and already cosponsored by more than a dozen influential members of congress, could have a tremendous impact, but it needs strong bipartisan support, so please tell your Member of Congress to "support the Delahunt Resolution" to help stop whaling now.
To find the email or telephone number for your representative, visit:
voter.com/home/officials/lookup/1,1192,2--,00.html3) AND FINALLY, PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND CO-WORKERS.
Encourage them to send similar messages today.
Believe me, every message will make a difference, so please send your message right now... before you open your next email.
It only takes a moment, and it could help change the course of history.
Many thanks,
Fred O'Regan
President, International Fund for Animal Welfare
http://www.ifaw.org
Soon Van - Saturday, 21 October 2000 - 08:54
The Fila shades last rested upon the bridge of my nose on Monday of this week. Since then the clouds have wept openly for all to experience. In accordance with the unending confusion that is life, the top most part of my nose has felt an uneasing sense of submissiveness. As if I had been in a fight or brawl. The pain searing down into my face is like a drill boring for water in an arid field. The possibility of an actual break in the cartilage has not escaped me. However, the prospect of making the trip into the doctor's office amidst the lunacy of fuzziness that clouds my judgement and memory have held me back.
I may end up in the critical victims ward of the local hospital if the nasally induced amnesia and general feeling of disorientation leads my path across that of a moving vehicle.
Soon Van - Saturday, 21 October 2000 - 07:46
Also in the rainy morn, The Sydney Morning Herald was found somewhere in my front yard, tightly packed and wrapped in a green, transparent film. I opened the one from yesterday and nearly knocked myself out. It was tighter than the bones of my jaw had been a month ago. Having volunteered at the Olympics, Fairfax decided it would shout everyone with two weeks of newspapers for free. I don't know why I signed up for this. Probably end up with a log pile of unread and rolled up papers.
Set the fire-bugs loose!
Soon Van - Friday, 20 October 2000 - 10:18
CityRail and the State Rail Authority should be expecting some kind of law suit in the next few days.
It was raining this morning, on the first day of Paralympic competition, and as you would expect, the place was drenched in the wet stuff. Everyone huddled together on the platform of the station. I caught a taste of my own breath and nearly choked. I noticed also on the platform, a wigged out junkie. The floor of the car was puddled with the rainwater of the early morning commute. No sooner had I sat down ready to let my umbrella drip into the seat then I hear a soft squeak followed by a dull thud. I turned around and who do I see but the phased lady flat on her arse half-way down the steps. Gathering the names and details of three witnesses she seems set to sue. It happened on Thursday, 19 October 2000 at 09:25, she was a caucasian female in her early thirties and reportedly 3-4 months pregnant.
If you read this in the paper, remember where you saw it first.
Soon Van - Friday, 20 October 2000 - 03:29
Soon Van - Thursday, 19 October 2000 - 10:24
The Paralympic Torch crosses the Sydney Harbour Bridge today, beating a scorched presence into the void that was once occupied by the Olympic torch. Not one of the runner winners came from my postal code but I could of been in contention of wielding the massive flaming stick. Word is that a local—one postcode number down—kid got the chance after having flooded the site with numerous entries. I thought he bent the rules but turns out that flooding was the key to winning.
In comparison with the Olympic torch, the Paralympic one is enormous. If they were to duke it out my money would be on the Paralympic torch to take out the slim and elegant Olympic torch.
One day to go before the motto of MIND. BODY. SPIRIT. becomes the hot item on the lips of the athletes in lieu of CITIUS. ALTIUS. FORTIUS.
Soon Van - Wednesday, 18 October 2000 - 05:57
On Sunday I was eating in this restaurant in Cabramatta. I was about seven minutes into my meal when a scruffy hobo—is there any other kind? —came in, stood there, lifted his sweatshirt and pulled out a sheathed knife. At least I think you could call it a knife, the blade was over a foot long. Proceeding toward my table, blade in a state of readiness, he then had the gaul to ask me for money. Not to fork over in a robbery like situation, but as a transaction. With no idea on the whereabouts or source of the knife he was expecting me to consider the deal. The audacity!
That is, I would have to say, the main reason I don't like dining out.
Three days to go till the Paralympics start. We came in second to the US last time, could the OI-OI-OI's of the Australian crowd help step us up? I doubt it. Cheers from the crowd do not make a better athlete. Look at the Boomers. If the Australians rested first on that Paralympic tally it would be due to sheer athleticism alone.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 17 October 2000 - 06:23
Friday the 13th. The weather is gloomy, the moon is full and I can't see the difference between Mandy Moore and Sandra Sully.
The Paralympic Torch ran all over Campbelltown this morning and will trek through Parramatta. Unlike the Olympic Torch this one will totally bypass Cabramatta and Liverpool. It seems like it's going out of its way to avoid this area. Hell, what could it possibly be scared of? Most of the junkies would run from the flame thus clearing the streets and alleys even if for a few hours.
Speaking of revelations, the birds in the crawlspace above my living room have been silenced. I don't know whether this is due to them having found an exit tile or they just died. On further investigation it appears that they have been silent for the past few days. It's like a case of industrial deafness. Heard often enough the waves no longer make an impact.
Soon Van - Saturday, 14 October 2000 - 05:49
For the week prior every time I had had a shower my hands ended up severly wrinkled. My usual showering time of twenty-eight minutes had not changed, so it could not of been the over-exposure to water. I had thought it might of been the excessive day-long sweat that pooled in my palms as I stared blankly into the wall. But with my self-awarded degree in self-diagnosis it might be a recurrance of the disease that ravaged my hands over a month ago. I was hoping to get a scan in of my right palm this week. Kept putting off because I remembered that I had scanned a bloody tissue before. It would of been great, the skin off the palm was peeling off in sheets. Too damn bad it healed itself up with no anitbiotics or other such treatments.
Soon Van - Friday, 13 October 2000 - 10:39
Medal fever seems to have gripped this city. Seems Bob Carr wants to give every Olympic and Paralympic volunteer a medallion for their generous contribution to the greatest spectacle ever. The volunteers were supposed to be an army of people who worked not for recognition but for and from the pride of their country. This seems way too extravagant for a legion of supposedly humble workers.
Soon Van - Thursday, 12 October 2000 - 08:56
I hear now that Kevin Trudeau's Mega Memory program is a fallacy. I've read three quarters of the Mega Memory book but could not bring myself to finish it due to lack of stimulus. The news brings back the questions I had when he was bombarding the airwaves with his propoganda. There was a list of items he'd try to memorise on the fly:
I never bought the book, it was in the library.
Send me a list, ten to twenty, and I'll show you how the man pegs his.
Soon Van - Thursday, 12 October 2000 - 08:38
The Paralympics are just a week out. I was thinking about becoming a Paralympic volunteer even if only for the slightly altered uniform. Seems most of the positions were filled in response to the parade of Olympic volunteers. Lots of old, frail people. More like a geriatric get-together as opposed to a full-scale sporting event.
Soon Van - Wednesday, 11 October 2000 - 08:02
When Dick Pound watches a Volleyball game he doesn't move an inch. I watched him watch two of the games during that five-ring circus and from the moment he sat down, fixed in a state of contemplation, till the end of the match he remained motionless. That freaked me out.
Like many other IOC members his accreditation pass was swamped with letters. The mobious strip along with the numbers 4, 5 and 6 plus the 'R' were the most powerful. Access all areas.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 10 October 2000 - 10:12
For the last three days there has been an incessant chirping in the corner of the crawlspace above my living room. It sounded like a newborn crying out for nourishment. Seems ignoring broken roof tiles leads to such annoyances. I await now the maggots and mice to swarm en masse and clean up what seems to be a dying Indian Minah.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 10 October 2000 - 08:32
As far as I know, my name is Soon Van, not "VAN, Soon" as it appeared in the Sun-Herald on Sunday, October 1 2000. What a rag.
I would have taken part in that Volunteers' Parade. But I could not bring myself to listen to such no-names as whoever and whatever in The Domain. I missed out on a free t-shirt though. Now I have a uniform that I might never wear again and three exposures left on my throw-away camera. I knew I should have taken some perimeter shots. The Ent Cent and indeed Darling Harbour now look barren and lifeless.
Soon Van - Tuesday, 10 October 2000 - 04:01
In line with delayed telecasts from NBC and Seven, here are a few thoughts from the marvel that was the Games.
The Volleyballers are huge, the average height was 6 foot, 2 inches. I got photos with four of them. Three Cubans and one bald Brazilian. I wanted to catch a snap with Anja-Nadin Pietrek but found myself without a camera.
By the semi-finals most of the guys had picked out a favourite female player. Some went with Erika Coimbra of Brazil, Regla Torres from Cuba or Maurizia Cacciatori of Italy. My pick was Pietrek of Germany. I want to learn German because of her.
Never again will there be such an environment wherein everyone is in such a euphoric state and the troubles of one soon dissolves. My only hope is that the future before me has a few moments of serenity that existed during the Games.
I met one American and three Canadians. I could not tell the difference between the accents.
Within an hour of the last Yugoslavian gold Volleyball medallist having left for the plane home, the Entertainment Centre was being stripped clean. Monitors and terminals were being packed away, the field of play was ripped up and the people of CleanEvent swept up. Hung up all over the place—the Ent Cent and other venues—were these yellow plastic signs, pretty much only for the Olympics more than anything else. I took down seven but could only walk home with two. "New York" and "Press Tribune," I wanted an "Emergency Exit Only" and "FIVB Office" but they were taken. As were most of the drapery. I also took home one of 732 others, not divulging what exactly.
Protocol be damned. It is said that "...volunteers, while on duty, should not ask for photographs or autographs from athletes..." I paid no attention to this and got autographs from the German women volleyball team and the Russians. Also two from the Cuban men and two from the Croatian women. I cornered them a couple of times. Only one Brazilian guy opted out.
Whenever there was a free seat during matches, most of Team Volleyball snuck to get free seats. Every time we watched, we watched from the category A seats. Twice under the main scoreboard, which I was told were the Sponsor's seats.
Would I do it again?
Hell yeah!
Soon Van - Thursday, 5 October 2000 - 11:23
