Songs of March 2009 at Elementary Funk
Sending the CareFlight bear back home
Call and leave a message. Call and leave no message. Call, misdirect the voice and scramble a conversation by anonymous proxy.
Eventually it all ends up creating orders out of dead air. One Careflight Bear making its journey from the forest in such a way. Patiently waiting for the weeks to come by and the invoice to clear and return back with the donation. Leave the country and leave behind the option of nay saying the ghosts and phantom catalysts ringing up another sale.
There's a bear in there. But Winch one?
Sitting there like a bear trapped in a plastic bag gathering dust in the sun of the afternoon. Many afternoons until the sort and retort in earnest to clean. Sneaking under the radar taking no negatives as the final answer. Slipping under guard with who knows what credentials or okay.
Concoction of kind donation in a mean sense. Of the underhand and bending the arm behind the back. Threats numerous on arrival, on landing back on Terra Australis, of besmirching the good name. Portly is the sum to see a new home for a new bear. Unwanted, uninvited, undoing a good name and a good charity.
Back to whence it came and on its own dollar accord. No reason, nor right, to receipt from deceit.
Friday, 13 March 2009
Swallowing balls of red with eBay auction fees
Flogging wares on eBay isn't as easy as other people make it out to be. It's a simple process to throw up junk into the mess, sure. Yet elusive and backwards walking for the fresh and long on other threads. Big holes in the whole plan of creating holes free of clutter in the home are in the fees and the timing of it all.
Thursday's down for start on a 10 day listing are fine. That should give the auction a chance to run its course and end on a Saturday night. Building along the way a bevy of onlookers and possible watchers and hopefully eventual bidders. But who knows when on a Saturday night the people watching are watching if they're going to be sniping across from one another. Nobody home means no flurry of activity. Points lost on that.
There's working out the costing and the sizing up of the postage to keep in mind. Cutting into the final listing eating fee the postage does not. So racking it up there is free money. Too exorbitant and that keels the listing fine all by itself. Double the edge, half the fun.
Start the bidding low and watch watchers think about watching and clocking up a number that really serves no purpose in the end. Not unless disparity is itself a purpose.
Maybe there's the copy in hawking the merchandise in question, and the question is who buys what now:
swingking - a classic pair of balls
You are bidding on two (2) new classic type swingking balls. They are half tennis ball and half rubber ball. Join them together and you have a swingking. Only you will have two (2) balls in your hands if you're the lucky and final bidder of this auction.
It's like strapping gaffa tape to half a tennis ball and piffing it at your mates while playing cricket at the beach or during lunch. Only this looks like they dipped one half in rubber. Great for street, beach or backyard cricket. Anywhere you can play cricket, you can let roll with these bowls.
handling balls will not make you a king of swingRead the hype right off the package itself:
- the revolutionary swinging ball
- aerodynamically designed
- durable and tough
- achieve swing like the pro's
- made 4 fun
- developed with university assistance
- the king of swing!
And on the back:
- Developed specifically for recreational sport; on the beach; in the park, or in the street
- Unlocks the secrets of reverse swing, a cricket phenomena
Play with these two balls with your mates for hours. Or until you can no longer see the wicket. Great for bowlers looking to bowl like Andrew Flintoff, Simon Jones or Ishant Sharma.
Normally you would be polishing one side of these balls to get that swinging action. But with these swingking balls, you'll be swinging fast and loose with short practise.
No guarantee is made that you will be able to bowl a swing ball.
Designed in Australia, Made in India
Swingking balls from a competition gain years ago and collecting dust on the padded envelope all that time. No sense in keeping them when bowling a normal spin, or any delivery, is prone to landing anywhere but the pitch.
Maths
Too many numbers in parentheses, and higher than those not, is not a good thing on the books:
- ($0.30) - Insertion fee
- $5.00 - Quoted postage
- $2.25 - Final price
- ($0.12) - Final value fee
- ($2.00) - Parcel box
- ($5.40) - Actual postage of parcel
- ($0.47) - PayPal transaction fee
Not counting the bite of fees for paying the fees of eBay through subsidiary PayPal, the total round off comes to $8.29 going out to buffer the incoming of $7.25 leaving a gaping hole of $1.04 and a serious question on how to actually turn a few cents of profit from unloading personally worthless junk.
Friday, 6 March 2009
What lurks beneath the keys
Under the grime and glint of fingerprints. Below the surface of crumbs and breaking silence with gentle taps. Of the darkness between the shadows of the beige squares.
Keying up dust balls
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
