Order Soon Van
Creativity starves insanity
Days leading up to this so-called "Internet Marketing Conference" threw a ball of guesses and investigation as calls to a clueless American on a 1800 number were anything but clear or informative. With no hint beyond a date and using Star City as a general location, detailing exactly the pick up location of the free food and organiser was outside of their scope.
Calls with the banquet staff at Star City said to look for ballroom 3 on level 3 of the hotel. It was the only thing they had on that night with ordered food. Add to that the fact that the bill was on an American company and it was the only logical choice.
What soon reveals itself through the night is that the websites flashing up on the wall were all too familiar in their lack of style. The kind of websites found employing massive streams of spam to lure people away from their political and creative discussions on all things philosophical. Ready-Strip removers, cowboy boots, silk screen printing... nothing on nothing.
Ninety agonising minutes of listening to this Doug Simpson talk about his dismal Hollywood stunt career, replete with bad jokes, were rewarded with a free dinner. Tough bread rolls with dollops of spicy mayonnaise and a salad. More of a lunch than a dinner. Certainly nothing that would rank up there in the stakes of the $70 mark.
Sadly, the line of people ponying up cash downs of $50 on the table at the back was rather large. These people were throwing down money and details to sign up for a full day of this delivered by no less than 11 "business experts" flown in from the States direct.
Perhaps it was the promise of a full day of a hot hotel buffet. No price given on that note. Though it might have cost all these hopefuls at least $50. A sum which they had covered without realising.
Evaluations were certainly well above expectations and market norms. Did they include the price of lobotomies in the value tag of the free dinner? The free organiser was as trashy, cheap and tragic as expected. The garish $49.95 note on the box itself would suggest a dream unable to find a reach.
Scary sightings such as this are all too real.
Soon Van - Wednesday, 11 May 2005 - 16:19
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