An increasing rarity in today's advertising world is that of the original jingle. Gone are the days when the advertising agencies would hire musicians to pen fresh and new compositions to accompany a product. Back then it wasn't unusual for kids and adults alike to sing along to songs for hot dogs or toilet paper. What was less of an oddity was the fact that these jingles were written especially for the product.
Time is a demon and the world of music is a monster for the money it needs to feed the artists to survive. Now, instead of a brand new ditty riding the consumer airwaves we are thrown into the campaign listening to commercial artists; the kind of artists likely to tour and merchandise. One such prolific being of consumer-driven music sales is that of Moby. Labelled a "whore" and "sell-out" by some his music can be heard promoting all manner of merchandise. But the music of Moby remains exactly as it if it were played off the CD in which it was mass distributed.
And so we come to the subjects that are the Beach Boys and their distinctively Californian sounds. Mix it up with claymantion dolls who are supposed to resemble humans if humans were somehow made entirely of chocolate and you have a series of commericals for Cadbury Chocolate which filtered through on the television screens of millions around the world, if not only Australia, in 2002.
In the first of three we are taken to a beach - the link with the Beach Boys is most apparent in this one - wherein a surfer dude is on the chocolate waves. Life on this world seems peachy enough. But then, like in that novel-cum-movie, Jaws, a shark appears. As cool as ice the protagonist offers his arse as an offering to satiate the fish. Obviously this is not one kids of a tender age should have to watch no matter what the product. Behaviour like this is bound to turn the blue/green seas into an ocean of blood red. Wonderful indeed.
On the second journey, the protagonist is played by a postal worker who delivers letters on foot. A cliché and obstacle that is most often the bane of post deliverers around the world would no doubt be that of the ferocious dog at guard, preventing the worker from doing their job. Much like the real world, this chocolate world also faces that canine danger. Yet while in our world the postie would either make a run for it or drop the letters on the front lawn it doesn't even matter in this chocolate realm. No, instead of living another day to let someone else worry about the situation this postie picks up the dog and takes a huge chunk out of its rear end. After all, it is chocolate and dogs is food isn't they?
The third and final instalment takes places in a soccer stadium. Perhaps the most sane of all these representations it is also the most close to home. Simply as it plays, the scene which takes places is a penalty shoot out for goal that happens to break the chocolate metal bar holding the netting for said goal. The chocolate ball rolls in and the star player wins the trophy for his team. As there is no 'I' in team, there is a 'ME' and with this the player takes a bite out of the champion's cup the team has worked so hard for. There are chocolate coins covered in gilded foil, so it doesn't seem that far-fetched that metal could actually harbour a decent amount of chocolate inside.
So then, what of this world? Surfers who are stupid enough to allow themselves to become bait for sharks, postal workers crazy enough to eat dogs guarding people's homes and a selfish star football player out for his own glory? Really, when you think about it it doesn't seem that distant from this world in which we inhabit. Would it be nice if the world was chocolate? It already is.
Article first published and © November 2002.